Buermann
Presents
The Last Worst Human Tournament

El Zagal Shrine
1429 3rd St N Fargo, ND 58102
Nov. 3, 2018, 1 p.m. - Nov. 3, 2018, 8 p.m.
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$25.00 at the door

Where Is It?

El Zagal Shrine

When Is It?

Nov. 3, 2018, 1 p.m. - Nov. 3, 2018, 8 p.m.

What Is It?

This is the 5th Annual Worst Human Tournament and also the last Worst Human Tournament. Meaning you won't have another chance to stone a stranger, shoot your friends, or chuck a baby outside the privacy of your own home ever again!

The Worst Human Tournament is an evening of unfiltered fun; so kick back, relax, and toss the ol' baby around as you compete to the death to see who really is The Worst.

.... also there will be cake.

The Medal

Each year the winner receives a unique hand crafted medal.

These medals are truly something to behold. Meticulously sculpted out of re-purposed clay with the least amount of care before being exquisitely molded in silicone using only the most advanced yet still adequately and amateurishly performed techniques. Only then can they finally be cast in the carefully selected resins based on only the most frugal of google searches. These medals are durable and flawed to perfection. Each tournament won medal has a distinguishing silver border so that you can be sure it was earned with wit and guile and not simply purchased after the fact like those lesser black bordered replicas we hock on occasion to keep from starving.

2018 Worst Human Medal

Previous Medals

No Evil Deed Goes Unrewarded

Flatland Brewery has donated prizes for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place. Each receiving a growler and a $20 gift card to the brewery!

That isn't all, we have a box full of prizes to give out during the event! More on that below.

Flatland Brewery prizes for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place!

You Will Compete In...

You will be competing in multiple rounds of adult themed card games and home grown event round. All carefully selected to be easy to learn, fun to play, and delightfully offensive.

Cards Against Humanity

The game that started it all. Cards Against Humanity is played by literally everyone, and can be learned in seconds. We mix in a ton of expansions, including promotional cards, as well as cards from Crabs Adjust Humidity. So while you'll see the cards you are used too, it is very likely you will see many that are new to you.

Joking Hazard

Created by the web comic Cyanide and Happiness; Joking Hazard is built on the same mechanics as Cards Against Humanity except you are making a web comic. There is still one judge each round who determines whose cards combine to make the best (worst) comic.

Stipulations

This game takes the mechanics of Cards Against Humanity, with a twist. There are no white cards, just dry erase boards. The judge will pull a card and announce something good that has happened to them, and it's your job to come up with a stipulation on that good thing to shit all over it. We love this game, because it's the one round where you can't rely on the cards to be horrible for you (or blame them for holding you back).

Around The World Baby Toss

You will have multiple stations to toss your baby from. Whomever can make the most consecutive shots wins.

Shoot Your Friends

Armed with 1 pistol each. Standing back to back. Take ten paces, turn and fire! It's the only honorable (and fun) way to kill your friends! We don't know when the police "outlawed" it, but we are bringing it back!

Genghis Pong (optional)

Your score will be a tally of how you did in all the games above but if at the end you feel like you need to boost your score you can pay $1 to play Genghis Pong. They money from this game all goes to Extra-Life, and you could earn yourself some crucial extra points.

Each time you play you will be given a catapult and 3 corpses. Each corpse you make over the castle wall and into a tower earns you an extra point. You can earn a total of 5 bonus points this way. Considering most of our tournaments end in a tie, believe me when I say every point matters.

Earn Some Indulgence

Extra Life unites thousands of gamers around the world in a 24-hour fundraising and gaming marathon to support Children's Miracle Network Hospitals.

Be The Worst Hero You Can Be

We firmly believe that good deeds absolve horrible deeds. So this year we are donating portions of every ticket sale to Extra Life. In addition, during the tournament, you will be able to sabotage our presiding Worst Human "King Ty" through your donations to ensure he doesn't win for a third year! (Is King Ty okay with that? We didn't ask, but what is the worst that could happen...)

For those who wish to participate in the marathon being hosted by Paradox Comics-n-cards; we are considered a part of that 24 hours! Some of us will even be at Paradox prior too and after the tournament. So by all means, do join us!

Kids are our future, and lets be real; our future needs all the help it can get.

*Extra Life is in no way responsible for anything The Worst Human Tournament, its contestants, or Buermann Presents does or says in promoting this event or raising money.

TOURNAMENT DETAILS

Participants should arrive at 1:00 pm to get signed in; the tournament starts promptly at 1:15 pm. When you get signed in you will be handed a placement card which will determine what table you sit at for round one. Seating is randomized for fairness, but each round placement changes so eventually you will get to face off against your so called "friends".

The tournament will be run in 45 minute rounds. Points are awarded based on placement in each round, and each round is a different game. There is no elimination; it is anyone's game until the bitter end.

SCHEDULE BREAKDOWN

  • 1:00 - 1:15pm Check In
  • 1:15 - 2:00 - Round 1
  • 15 Min Break
  • 2:15 - 3:00 Round 2
  • 15 Min Break
  • 3:15 - 4:00 Round 3
  • 1 hour Intermission - Prize Give Away / Cake
  • 5:00 - 5:45 Round 4
  • 15 Min Break
  • 6:00 - 6:45 Round 5
  • 6:45 - 8:00 Stoning & Coronation
  • 8:00 - Go Home

While we do our best to keep to this schedule during the tournament, there are many unknowns that can impact it. Any changes leading up to the event will be posted in our Facebook event page, and announcements will be made during the event.

It is extremely helpful if you can show up even a little early to get signed in and seated. We leave plenty of padding for the closing ceremonies so you should never have to worry about staying past 8pm.

Resolving Ties

All ties in the tournament are decided as they were in olden times, by throwing a baby in the trash can. Everyone lines up and chucks our trash baby, little Anna, into the can. Each round, those who get her into the trash stay while the rest are eliminated. Last one standing wins.

The Stoning

The winner gets free entry to defend their title the following year. However, we only have one throne so if you can't hold onto it we have no choice but let the rest of the contestants stone you before we seat the new champion. The stoning will last until it stops being funny.

The drawing

During the event you will have the chance to earn draw tickets for prizes being given away after the stoning! You must be present to win.

THE WORST HUMANS

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